Whether it’s bullet wounds, severed limbs, incineration, et cetera, Deadpool will always come back much to everyone’s annoyance.ĭeadpool: It’s more than a one-trick pony though. Deadpool’s body can regenerate from all manner of damage. In case you forgot, Deadpool signature gimmick is his near-invincible healing factor derived from Wolverine himself. Take one awesome video game, two kick-a$$ movies, and more merchandise than any nerd can handle and you’re racking in enough dough to make Scrooge McDuck’s jaw drop.īoomstick: Hero or villain, you just can’t stop being a d*ck can you.ĭeadpool: Perhaps, but I’m also the d*ck your ex-wife couldn’t get enough of.īoomstick: Don’t make me get out my shotgun again. Wiz: Yeah, Deadpool isn’t exactly a moral compass, but there were a few people who actually saw good in him and convinced the Merc with a Mouth to pursue a more heroic path that could hopefully save him from his own insanity.ĭeadpool: That and the superhero career is a lot more profitable. There was only one thing a man like me could do, and that thing was… join in on the fun as a henchman for hire. Despair had enshrouded the light of the world.
#HOWLING WOLF DEATH METAL FONT FULL#
Now that he was back on the streets with a newfound powers, Wade was ready to take on the world under his new name: Deadpool.ĭeadpool: Yes, the world was full of sh*tbags causing chaos and destruction. Wade was deemed a failed experiment and left to rot in the Weapon X facility for the remainder of his life.īoomstick: Kind of like those mutilated test subjects you keep in your lab.īoomstick: Naturally Wade was all like “screw that sh*t” and busted himself out. Wiz: More like the Cryptkeeper’s uglier older brother.īoomstick: Or some poor animal that got run over by a semi then drenched with acid. It may not be able to kill him, but it did drive him insane and turn his face into a baked potato that was in the microwave for too long. It seemed like life was going to be perfect for him until he was diagnosed with a severe case of cancer.īoomstick: That new healing factor didn’t exactly get rid of his cancer, but instead made it worse. Wiz: Wade travelled the world, making quite a name for himself and even scoring a girlfriend. So he joined the military as a teenager and was so good at his job that he became one of America’s best assassins at 19 years old. Like any natural born psychopath, “Wade”, if that is your real name, was eager to get his hands on a gun. Wiz: Or how your supposed secret identity “Wade Wilson” is not your real name, but rather a name you stole from someone else.ĭeadpool: Hey, don’t belittle by backstory! Now how about you do your jobs and get to the good stuff starting with my awesome military career.īoomstick: Fine. Back of the line pal, some of us have real issues. Though I wouldn’t be surprised considering that you don’t even remember the details of your past.īoomstick: Like how you keep saying your family life was dysfunctional as hell, but it was actually pretty normal. Wiz: (*groans as he gets up*) All that… was one hundred percent bullsh*t. And that is my entire life story, the end! I would go on to save the world countless times such as when I blew up the Death Star, won the Tournament of Power, and kicked Donald Trump in the balls. He told me I was the chosen one destined to purge the world of evil, so he gave me superpowers that turned me into the amazing Deadpool.
My only hope lied in Canada where I met Jesus. It's CGI effects were so bad it gave me cancer. I was your typical handsome Hollywood actor, until the tragic day I stared in the Green Lantern. Deadpool breaks into Death Battle (Fanon)ĭeadpool: Helloooooo internet! My name is Ryan Renolds. His weight causes Wiz to collapse, brining them both to the floor.)ĭeadpool: Oh, I have a good feeling about this episode. (Boomstick jumps in shock and lands in Wiz's arms. I'm going to save a lot of money on headache medicine. he usually shows up when we mention his name.īoomstick: Huh, I guess he's not coming. a Death Battle.īoomstick: Isn't this the part where Deadpool comes out of nowhere to annoy us? Wiz: And its our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win. Wiz: And Harley Quinn, the ex-henchwoman turned standout supervillain of DC.
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